help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
