You're a womanizer and a bitch.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
