WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
