If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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