i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
