Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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