Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
North Korea, Best Korea!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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