It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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