And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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