two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
