So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
