dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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