i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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