i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
