Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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