gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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