my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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