I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
