best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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