I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
