marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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