Your dad touched me again.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
