Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
MIDGETS
????
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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