Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
