I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
