Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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