You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I cut my penus on the lid.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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