i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
