she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I love having hate sex.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
