Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
