He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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