Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
