I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
