We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
