I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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