my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
