I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
