Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
