Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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