try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
