Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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