Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
