Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
