What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
