You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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