If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
