It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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