You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
