Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
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there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
