I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
