I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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